Blown Away
by IceFire9
Summary: Clara knew she should leave. Tampering with the Doctor's past could have huge, perhaps disastrous, consequences, but she couldn't stop herself. Every time she tried, she would look into his old, sad eyes and realize that she could no more leave him than stop breathing.
1. Change Your Life

**Blown Away**

**Chapter 1: Change Your Life**

**Disclaimer: **Doctor who isn't mine.

**Summary: **Clara knew she should leave. Tampering with the Doctor's past could have huge, perhaps disastrous, consequences, but she couldn't stop herself. Every time she tried, she would look into his old, sad eyes and realize that she could no more leave him than stop breathing.

* * *

The first thing Clara became aware of was the sound of the Tardis, the rhythmic groaning sound it makes when taking off or landing.

She had learned to look forward to that sound. She'd spent entire Wednesdays secretly waiting to hear that sound (though she'd never let on just how anxious she was for him to pick her up.)

Last she remembered, she was in the Doctor's arms at Trenzalore. She'd jumped into his timeline. She thought she'd be dead, but she wasn't. The Doctor had saved her, risking his own existence to bring her home. She collapsed into the safety of his arms, he'd carried her out, and then…

She opened her eyes.

She wasn't at Trenzalore, she wasn't even in the Tardis. She was in… London?

"I lost the signal! I got so close."

Clara stared at the man who exited the Tardis in shock. It was the Doctor, but not the Doctor she knew. As if to prove herself wrong a flood of memories hit her. Her echoes knew every Doctor fairly well. She had technically just spent a very long time saving his life.

"We've moved. Does it fly?" A blond stepped out of the Tardis. She must be a new companion. _He's always picking up strays. _She thought fondly.

Clara decided to make her presence known. "It actually just sort of appeared. How does it do that?"

The blonde and the Doctor turned as one to her.

The Doctor stared, seemingly stunned.

"Don't look at me!" The blonde said "I'm just as lost as you are."

The Doctor shook himself. "Advanced Time Lord technology, you wouldn't understand."

"Isn't it a bit intimate in there with two people?" Clara smirked. She was setting him up, there was no way the Doctor could _not _show her the inside of the Tardis now.

"How about you pop on in there and see for yourself." The Doctor smirked.

Clara walked through the doors, and was surprised. The Tardis was different now. She whirled around and gasped (using her real surprise to her advantage) "It's bigger on the inside!"

She couldn't help but beam at the pleasure the Doctor took in her reaction.

Then Rose interrupted. "What about the headless thing that we left back at the restaurant."

"It melted with the head. Are you going to witter on all night?" Clara suppressed a snort. Apparently this one didn't have manners.

"I'll have to tell his mother. Mickey. I'll have to tell his mother he's dead, and you just went and forgot him, again! You were right, you are alien." Rose cried.

Clara was nearly overwhelmed with the need to defend him. Because she could see, deep down in his eyes, that he did care. This Doctor cared so much that he built walls around himself, hiding himself behind scorn and disinterest to shield his heart from the pain.

"Look. If I forgot some kid Mickey" The Doctor snapped.

"He's not a kid!"

"It's because I'm trying to save the life of every stupide ape on this planet!"

"Alright." Rose conceded.

"Yes it is!" The Doctor interjected.

"If you _are_ an alien, how come you sound like you're from the North?"

Clara laughed. The Doctor glared in annoyance at her.

"Lots of planets have a north." The Doctor answered defensively.

"What's a public police call box?" Rose asked next.

"It's a telephone box from the 1950's, it's a disguise."

"Pretty poor disguise, if it's from the 1950s. Can't this vaunted Time Lord technology make it look like something else?" Okay, so it may not have been fair using her knowledge to poke fun at the Doctor, but it was so worth it.

"Alright, so maybe it got stuck looking like this in the 1950s. I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery. What I _need, _is to find the transmitter." The Doctor replied caustically.

"Transmitter?" Clara asked. Now they were getting somewhere, specifically to the part where they saved the world, or something like that.

"The Nestene Conciousness is using it to control plastic all around the world. It's planning to invade. The transmitter should be a huge circular metal structure, like a dish or a wheel. Close to where we're standing. It must be completely invisible."

Both women had noticed the Eye of London exactly fit the Doctor's description. As usual, though, the Doctor was oblivious. Looking behind him several times and missing the obvious landmark.

Clara laughed fondly. "Oh, you daft old man. It's right behind you!"

It wasn't until after defeating the Nestene Conciousness, when Clara picked up a newspaper lying on the sidewalk, that her good mood disappeared. She knew the date; she would never be able to forget it, because today was the day her mother died.

* * *

Change.

After living for over 900 years, the Doctor felt that he should be used to it. Taking two companions on the same day shouldn't be as big of a deal as it was.

Then again, maybe living for 900 years only made him set in his ways. He'd be damned if he ended up a stick in the mud like most of the other Time Lords- _no_ that was not something he'd think about.

He could live for another 900 years, and still feel nothing but guilt at the thought of his people.

"Are you okay, Doctor?" One of his new companions, Clara Oswald, asked.

Something about her unnerved him. The sound of her voice was… familiar, like a half forgotten dream. Her gaze seemed to pierce right through him, seeing into his soul.

"Fine. Always fine, me." He answered. Clara nodded, but it was obvious that she didn't believe him.

"Actually" The Doctor segued "There is something that's bothering me."

"What is it?" Clara's eyes flickered with some emotion he couldn't pin down. Affection perhaps?

"Why did you call me old? It's true that I'm very old by human standards, but you had no way of knowing that."

Clara froze for an instant, like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar. The Doctor was secretly proud that his question hit so close to the mark, perhaps there was something more to this woman than there appeared.

Then she answered. "It's your eyes. You have old eyes."

Again, it seemed like she was seeing into his soul with those kind eyes.

As quickly as his pride appeared, it vanished. Only someone who had built up their own walls to hide their pain could see them in someone else.

"Right then!" He announced, a little too loudly "Past or future, when would you like to go?"

* * *

Change.

His timeline was changing.

_Clara, it has to be Clara. She's done something. Is doing something._

He'd tried to bring her out of his timeline, bring her home, but when he'd stumbled out of his time stream, she was _gone._

He'd panicked, and threw himself back into his time stream. He scoured every inch for as long as he dared, but found nothing. He returned to a concerned Vastra, Jenny, and Strax, defeated and feeling the same despair that had kept him chained in Victorian London in the first place.

Apparently, she had ended up elsewhere, and was making changes. He could practically feel her soft hands, molding his timeline, his very existence.

It was too late, far too late to stop her now. The new memories were forming faster than he could comprehend. As a time traveler, he would keep his old memories, but that wouldn't be of much use if Clara caused a paradox.

If she changed his past to the point where he wouldn't meet her, she might just pop out of existence, and if she was erased from existence, so would he.

_Please be careful, my impossible girl._

* * *

**A/N: **So here is how this story will be structured: I'll spend minimal time recapping episodes. Most of the focus will be on the development of Clara and the Doctor's relationship, along with the potential consequences of Clara meddling with time.

Clara will be paired with all of the new series Doctors (9, 10, 11 &amp; 12), though it will take a while to get to the latter two.


	2. Can't Help

**Chapter 2: Can't Help**

**Disclaimer: **Doctor who isn't mine.

_Just one trip. _Clara promised herself. _One trip and I'll have him drop me off strait away. _

He had taken them to see the end of the world. She and the Doctor were probably below on that planet somewhere. She learned then that everything ends. _Not everything ends. _She sneaks a glance at the Doctor. _Not love. Not always. _

The Doctor has gotten himself involved with one of the tree people. It's a woman who seems a little too friendly with him for Clara's taste. _Of course, he attracts women like flies to honey._ She thought, somewhat scornfully. Clara felt that it was her duty to stay with him and make sure he didn't do anything stupid, even as Rose stepped out to phone family.

Clara almost choked when the woman, Jabe, mistook her for his wife, and she saw red when Jabe tread into forbidden territory.

"And what about your ancestry, Doctor? Perhaps you could tell a story or two. Perhaps a man only enjoys trouble when there's nothing else left." Clara realized quickly where Jabe was going with her monologue. The Doctor was keeping his eyes locked at his feet.

_Stop, you idiotic woman! Can't you see that he doesn't need to hear this! _Clara raged internally.

"I scanned you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species. It refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right. I know where you're from." At this point, Clara jabbed her sharply with her elbow. Jabe looked up to see fire and brimstone in her eyes.

"Forgive me for intruding." Jabe amended contritely "I just wanted to say how sorry I am."

The Doctor had let a single tear escape by the end of her monologue, and Clara's heart broke, just a little bit. She couldn't help but go to him and put a hand on his shoulder. The Doctor's head snapped to look at her and she met his gaze, her eyes radiating warmth and love.

It was then that Clara realized she was a fool. There was no way she could leave the Doctor, not on her own free will, not while he needed her.

* * *

_You do not belong here. _

The voice was not spoken aloud, but directly into her mind. Clara's blood froze, and then she noticed the Face of Boe, sponsor of the event, looking at her.

Clara chanced a glance at the Doctor, it wouldn't be long before he wanted to leave but Rose seemed to be keeping him occupied for now.

_Please don't say anything. _Clara frantically thought. _He needs me._

She heard what sounded like a chuckle reverberate through her mind. Then his voice turned sad. _Pehaps he does. Still, there are severe consequences to altering the past. _

_Please, I just want to help him. _Clara begged. _I- I- _

She couldn't continue that thought. She still couldn't admit to herself what she knew in her heart to be true.

_You love him. _Boe finished for her, and Clara bowed her head in admission.

_Be careful Clara Oswald. If you make the wrong change, you could be erased from existence, but I will not stop you. _

Even while the mental presence withdrew, Clara felt a sliver a fear in her heart. Nothing had happened yet, but did she run the risk of making one wrong move and being erased from existence?

But then again, her head was buzzing with half remembered lives. Some of them were from Galifrey. Already, some relevant memories were coming to light.

She could do this. As long as she was smart, she could make this work.

Right?

* * *

It turned out that it wasn't the Doctor, but Rose, who first became suspicious.

This Doctor, 'didn't do domestic', even though she knew in a few hundred years he would be playing blind man's bluff with the two kids she was baby-sitting. Regardless, this version of him obviously didn't care about his companion's home lives, and actively avoided any conversation about that subject.

That suited Clara just fine, it made it easier to hide her true past, but then he returned Rose a year late. The Doctor didn't pick up on the fact that Clara didn't seem keen on contacting family, but Rose noticed.

While the Doctor was leaning in close to the telly, trying to catch every detail on the spaceship that crashed into Big Ben, Rose pulled her to the side. "Clara… don't you have any family? Somebody to phone?" She asked haltingly "You've been gone a year, aren't there people who will be worried about you?"

_Lie._

"I had a mum, but she… she died when I was little." Clara's voice genuinely broke; the pain of visiting the exact date of her mother's death was raw.

Rose's eyes grew wet. "I'm sorry. For prying." She apologized. "My dad died, years ago." Rose favored her a bittersweet smile "I don't even remember him." Then they were hugging, both of them half-crying messes. Clara could practically hear the Doctor scoffing from across the room.

"Shut it you." Clara ordered, but her voice is fond, not biting.

"I didn't say anything!" The Doctor protested innocently, too innocently. Clara smirked and Rose stifles a laugh.

"Humans." The Doctor muttered. Then he mentioned something about getting some fresh air and ducked out.

Clara immediately became suspicious. "He's going to the Tardis, isn't he?" Rose asked, echoing her own thoughts.

Clara gave a long suffering sigh "We better go after him. Who knows what trouble he'll get into without us there to watch after him?"

* * *

Clara had that look on her face again.

She got that look a lot, especially when she was looking at him. He could scarcely pilot the Tardis without feeling her eyes burning holes in the back of his head.

The Doctor felt smothered.

It was more than the domesticity of the Tyler household. It was more than the usual lull after adventures. It was more than the weight of his guilt pressing down on him.

It was Clara.

"What is it?" He asked her. The brunette startled, blushing cutely.

_Cute? _The Doctor berated himself internally.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You've got a look on your face, stop it."

"I did _not _have a look on my face." Clara denied vehemently.

The Doctor held his hands up in surrender. "Fine! Fine."

He had taken both of them to see the end of the world to help them understand. Everything ends. His world was gone. He was alone.

But it seemed like Clara knew without even being told. When Jabe had brought up the fate of his people, Clara had been right there, her eyes shining with comfort, kindness, and...

And love.

That was the look on her face, and it was smothering, oppressive, like being enveloped in a thick warm blanket.

He was torn. There was a part of him wanted to run for away from her. She had an uncanny power to see right through him, and that scared him to his core.

But then he remembered the promise he made himself all those years ago. _Fear doesn't have to make you cruel or cowardly. Fear can make you kind. _And all he wanted to do is let go, to give in and accept the love she was so freely giving.

He shook himself. After 900 years he'd thought he knew better. Clara was kind and caring, and far too good for him. When she figured out what he had done to his own people, and she would, she would never look at him like that again.

His companions always left (well, the lucky ones did), Rose and Clara would be no different. He couldn't get too attached. He knew that. He _knew _that.

That couldn't stop the surge of fondness he felt whenever Rose's eyes alighted with curiosity, or the way his hearts skipped a beat whenever he and Clara so much as touched, or when she looked at him like that or...

His thought process derailed as he realized where it was going. He was so screwed.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the long update time. I didn't feel like writing after Kill the Moon, for obvious reasons. Regardless, I'm back with lots of future plans. Enjoy!


End file.
